Showing posts with label fight. Show all posts
The Dark Side of Perfectionism
12 years ago
Mr. B: More Willpower Than Me!
3.05.2010
Mr. B and I have been trying to get healthier for a while now. I'm a pescetarian now, and as an incidental effect of that Mr. B hasn't been eating much land-meat either. I'm also trying to cut down on junk food and carbs, because I know that my diet is mostly pasta and chocolate and that's not too good for me. I'm struggling to find the time to exercise, but hopefully thins will settle down now that my Note is finished and I'll be able to concentrate more on that.
Mr. B has quit smoking! He's using lozenges to help and he is doing so, so well. I'm incredibly proud. He's also stopped drinking, and since he hasn't been drinking I haven't been drinking much either. The drinking is really what this post is about.
Mr. B had some problems with excessive drinking in the past, and because of that I have always been extremely suspicious of his behavior even when he drinks in moderation. His altered state and my disposition tend to lead us into really vicious arguments. His words are colored with defensiveness and hostility, while mine are tainted with condescension and stubbornness. These fights are always unfair, leave us angry or hurt for days, and were frankly doing some real damage to our marriage. Now that we haven't been drinking, it hasn't been like that. We do still bicker sometimes, and I certainly still get angry. But it's easier for me to forgive and apologize, and it's easier for Mr. B to understand where I'm coming from. Our arguments are now legitimate disagreements rather than dark, harmful fights. I just want to say how much I like life better this way.
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